14 Lessons For Stupid People

By Patrice Lewis


As I write this, the German town of Hamburg is in chaos as 100,000 anti-capitalists (otherwise known as “stupid people”) pour in to participate in a “Welcome to Hell” protest against the G20 summit. Police have responded to the violence with water cannons and pepper spray while Hamburg residents are suffering vandalism and arson to their homes, businesses and cars by the peaceful demonstrators. Beer appears to be a popular fuel for the rioters.

As with most protests of this nature, it’s a little vague what these people find objectionable, but a few themes have emerged. Demonstrators want open borders, more wealth distribution and an end to capitalism. According to the U.K.’s Daily Mail, “Protesters say the G20 has failed to solve many of the issues threatening world peace, including climate change, worsening inequality and violent conflicts” – thus accomplishing at the rally the very things they claim they’re against. (That’s why they’re known as “stupid people.”)

The arson, rioting and vandalism initiated by the protesters, doubtless to illustrate how peaceful and inclusive they are, as well as their violent opposition to violent conflicts, merely echoes similar protests that have taken place in many Western nations, especially America.

So, as a public service from a middle-aged rural housewife with no background in economics or politics, I’d like to offer lessons the older generations would like to teach stupid people.

  • Capitalism isn’t your foe; it’s your friend. Wealth is produced by capitalism, which in turn fuels taxes that powers the nation. If you end capitalism, you end the incentive for people to become wealthy. Wealth disappears. If this is the kind of “equality” or “fairness” you desire, congrats on your room-temperature IQ.
  • Money doesn’t grow on trees. The social welfare net was never meant to be a multi-generational career opportunity. Younger people simply cannot grasp a time, for better or worse, where you didn’t eat if you didn’t work. Poverty is an amazing motivator, and the reason older people have the work ethic they do is because it was either work or go hungry. Many legal immigrants from Third World countries still understand this. They arrive, often with little more than a suitcase in hand, and spend the rest of their lives working two and three jobs to prosper in this land of opportunity. Watch and learn.
  • The freedoms you take for granted were paid for in blood by millions. I know you think it’s cool and trendy to spit on graves, desecrate flags and pretend the sacrifices of earlier generations have nothing to do with you, but such actions only make you look even stupider.
  • Multiple sexual partners doesn’t make you empowered; it makes you stupid. I realize many young people have not grown up with the blessings of an intact two-parent home (not their fault), but try to grasp this concept: Promiscuity leads to diseases, abortions, broken families and heartache. Committed monogamy does the opposite.
  • There are evil people in the world who want to kill you. These people are not interested in talking about their feeeeelings; they simply want to eliminate you in creative and gruesome ways. Pretending this evil doesn’t exist just makes it grow bigger. It’s only because brave men and women make a stand against these evil people that your butts are safe enough to protest for open borders.
  • Your current freedom to protest, be jerks, demand entitlements and other worthy pursuits are possible because of a handful of men over 200 years ago who put documents in place to ensure a posterity of freedom and governmental constraints in this nation. These men were flawed but brilliant. The fact that America still rocks on despite whittling away at these documents is proof of their legacy. Don’t think that you, with your obviously still-developing brains, know more than they did and can improve upon their work. You can’t.
  • You might think atheism is trendy, but it’s not what this nation was built on. America was built on a Christian foundation and principles, which is why it has enjoyed the success it has. For those who like to quote the incendiary “America is not a Christian nation” verbiage from the Treaty of Tripoli, please read this column on the history and logic behind that treaty. Read that column from start to finish. Go on, I dare you.
  • The world doesn’t revolve around your feeeeelings. Really, it doesn’t. You might feel like a different gender or a different species today, but no one cares. You might feel like the world should address you in a pronoun of choice, but we won’t do it because we prefer to speak proper English. Suck it up, buttercup.
  • Higher education doesn’t make you smarter. Someone with a doctorate degree in Social Justice is way, way less smart than a plumber or welder or farmer, simply because the SJW has never operated in the Real World and has no idea how economics (much less common sense) works.
  • Nobody owes you a thing. Millionaires don’t owe you their wealth. Farmers don’t owe you their food. Owners of apartment buildings don’t owe you a place to live. Car manufacturers don’t owe you a vehicle. Colleges don’t owe you an education. Fast-food employers don’t owe you a $15 minimum wage. Heck, unless you’re under 18, your parents don’t even owe you your current basement hangout. When you demand others give you things to which you feeeeel entitled, you’re in effect making slaves of them by forcing them to provide the fruits of their labor without a choice. That’s a stupid attitude.
  • Along those lines, career goals should center on goods and services people want, not feeeeelings that have been sanctified by government bureaucrats into law. If you get hostility from older generations who resent being forced to cater to your whims, it’s because these older generations know a parasite when they see one.
  • Rights do not cost anyone anything. If you think you have a “right” to (pick one: food / education / money / vehicle / housing / Internet / smartphone / employment), ask yourself whether that something will cost someone else time, labor, or money to provide it to you. If it does, it’s not a right.
  • Whining does not make you a more attractive prospective employee. Nor does dressing inappropriately, cursing, piercing every orifice, lavishly tattooing yourself, or other personal expressions of your individuality. Yes, you are free to do all these things, but a business is free not to hire you as a result.
  • Life isn’t fair. People are born with handicaps or suffer accidents or illness. The most admirable people are those who make lemonade out of their lemons. The worst thing the government can ever try to do is to make things “fair,” because in so doing, it will make things drastically more unfair for everyone else.

This list barely skims the surface of the advice older people would like to give to the younger generation. Of course, as the cliché goes, you can lead young people to wisdom but you can’t make them think.

Oh well, I tried.

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